I’m not oblivious as to how she learned her behavior. The Master Manipulator has taught her well! How can you possibly pull away from someone you can’t do without?
Christmas was always downright embarrassing – he’d buy way too much – opening gift after gift after gift, always followed by, “if you don’t like it, you can just return it”, heavily laced with guilt.
Hey! Lets go look at motorcycles while Maziecakes is at work – that way she (who’s has had the pleasure of holding 2 men as they died on the street after motorcycle accidents) has no say – no input – no voice – and then, lets buy one! Mazie will be furious, but we don’t care!
Oh, your car died? Here … take this Jeep.
Oh, you need money – here you go, take mine.
Your dog needs surgery? I’ll just close out my retirement account.
He make it nearly impossible to hate him, because you can’t figure out how you’ll get by without him.
But here’s the rub: he doesn’t do these things because he’s a kind or caring person. He does these things because he’s a guilty, sad, little, old man. A man who is in love with his only stepdaughter. No, he doesn’t love her like a parent loves their child. He’s in love with her. He is a pervert and a pedophile and he has just about everyone fooled. Not me.
He love bombs her, and you know what? She likes it. She’s a material girl at heart, just like her mom. “You can’t take it with you”, right, Love Bomb?
Works for him. Works for her.
I spent a good deal of time in therapy trying to sort through their dysfunction only to come to the (correct) conclusion that I can’t change their relationship. They’re adults and their relationship is just that – theirs. He’s a father figure to her, not to mention a solid connection to her deceased mother. I tolerated him, mostly, but I’m really a terrible liar, so I did my best to pretend like he didn’t bother me, especially on holidays or birthdays when he’d swoop in for that obligatory kiss on the lips. GAG.
Point is – she learned this Love Bombing thing well and honestly. It’s how she was bought, and it’s how she buys others. I used to think she was thoughtful, but I see now that it wasn’t about careful thought, it was about manipulation. It wasn’t about doing something nice, it was about making sure that she had the upper hand – a hand full of gifts, that is, whether or not she could afford them.
It was never up to me.