I’m working on it

I know, it’s been a while. It’s not because I’m not trying.

I’ve been researching and putting together what is turning out to be more of a Psychology paper than a blog, and these things take time. If only I had put this much time and effort into an actual Psychology homework assignment 20-some-odd years ago!

Meanwhile, I’m tired and I feel a bit like I’ve been run over by a bus. You see, I’ve cut carbs and sugar from my life, entirely. Call it Atkins. Call it Keto. Call it Paleo. Call it feeling like complete shit for at least a week. That’s where I’m at.

Why? Well, I’ve hit a bit of a plateau with weight loss and I’m just ready for a big change in my day-to-day. There’s no one to hold me back anymore! And hell, pork rinds are actually ON the menu! I plopped a glop of butter (the really nice, yellow, european high-quality kind) in my coffee this morning, along with a slurp of unsweetened almond milk. It was tolerable. (#buttermakeseverythingbetter) I made a riced cauliflower dish for lunch and I’ll be having bacon and eggs for dinner. Tomorrow is Day 3 and from what I hear, the “Keto-flu” may get worse before it gets better. That’ll be fun for my co-workers, who’s names I couldn’t remember today (I’ve only known some of them for 20 years!) – hellllooooooo brain fog – a withdrawal symptom along with headache, some nausea, fatigue and dizziness. These things, I’m told, will pass.

Despite the fact that I don’t feel good, I do, actually, feel good about myself. I like making positive changes. I like making my life better. I like healthy routines and self-care. I am finally becoming the sort of person I always wanted to be. The kind of person who exercises regularly, eats with conscience and purpose, maintains quality friendships by nurturing them, like, all the time, and who takes pride in her CUTEAF condo brimming with light and flowers I buy on the weekly for no one but myself.

That’s not to say I’m not lonely. I am very lonely. No doubt about it. Nor shame.

I still have a bit more “research” to do before I compile my Psychology paper-blog, and so, I’m off … tune in tomorrow or maybe the next day, or the day after that. One of these days, if I manage to get out of this keto-fog… I’m working on it!